8am Super Post Mortem pt2

part 1 : 4am Super Post-Mortem

 

 Alright, so it has been about 4 months since I started a post-mortem post about my life in previous company, Spacesheep Studio.

If anyone who works there, or worked there, stumble upon this post, please know that everything I mentioned is true to me, so it's pretty subjective to your own perspective. That being said, it means I don't give too much fuck about your opinion on these opinions.

So let's get right back to it, shall we?

Alright.. what should we begin with.. oh, fast forward, it is now the year 2020. Where the big pandemic start to hit every industries, and eventually, every single living thing on planet Earth.

We were forced to transition to Work-from-Home(WFH) status, and it was great! Except.. 

So what happened? 

• Pandemic hits, and we were all forced to work from home. It was a very difficult transitioning period, because it wasn't the norm back then. Due to a certain internal restriction, such as fear of information leakage, unsupervised environment, inconsistent environment setups etc, it was inevitable for managements to fear the drop of productivity.
  And it did happen, to me. 
• I wasn't really quite ready for it, physically and mentally. I was excited, but when I have everything at home, it is quite hard to shift the mentality because.. this is my home. This is where I rest, where I entertain myself, where everything was.. easy. 
• So for the first few months of 2020, it was exceptionally hard for me, and I did received warnings from managements. It didn't feel good, but that was a major turning point in my career. 

What I have learnt?

• When this pandemic happen, I believe it is hard for everyone to actually focus on 'working' in a very comfortable and sleepy environment. The mentality of "you-should-be-working" is not wrong, but it is not helping at all. There were zero  supports from anyone at all, and we were like a bunch of freelancers, not gonna lie. So the key takeaway here is that.. we are all trying hard to be as productive as we should.
• I did step forward and asked the boss what he needs, and the answer was pretty vague. I seriously think this guy might not have a good idea what he wants for his own studio. That is a very bad sign of leadership, imo.
• In later days, WFH is much better than working on site, thanks to zero restriction on internet access at home. :D 

 

 So, I have received my very first, official, red, warning notice from the management team, what's next?

What actually happened?

• I failed to deliver for some tasks given from.. Dec 2019 to Feb 2020? Or.. March? I forgot. But yes, I failed to deliver, because I got cocky about my progress against the schedule. See, the project has been delayed, and there were no concrete date or ideas how it would end up. So I got lazy, and thought "maybe I can skip a few", I was wrong. 
• I tried to do my task differently, a little bit different than usual, because I have started to be more into rigging. Looking at our task, I noticed that we cannot simply use the same method to do a certain aspects of the task, so I took another approach. But.. little did I know, the whole team wasn't ready, and I am for one to blame. 
• Later date, managements told me that they had to hire a freelancer to cover my ass, and said that "This is a loss in profit, you have make us lose money". I couldn't agree more, I did made the company lose some money. 

• There were less than zero mercy from that moment on, and it was okay. Because it makes me think really hard, for an exit strategy. 

So what I have learned?

• Many things, actually. I have come to understand that this company, this whole team, wasn't aware of many aspects of the production, and it only seems like I was the only one that looking forward for a more engaging collaborative environment. Basically, everyone main's priority, is to work. Which is not wrong, by the way. But I also believed that an extra bit of effort to initiate and engage in an inclusive environment will help growth.
• I am more focused on growing my career now. I have started to look for tutorials, classes, books that relates. This devastating environment has made me sought out for an exit aggressively, and I am grateful that it kept me focused on that constantly. 
• When everyone just want to work on their own part, actually, it can be very difficult and lonely. My team member wasn't really a rigging-hot-headed person, many times I felt extremely alone when it comes to facing challenges. I was thinking, that could be my leadership problem, or.. well.  

Fast-forward to October 2020, aaaaaand the company hired a new rigger, an experienced rigger!

• We had a few new projects in development, would love to talk more about it, but I couldn't due to.. copyright infringements and all the other shits. But this new rigger, he is exactly there, for exactly that
• I was excited, because I was looking forward to learn more from an experienced rigger. But I didn't like him at all. Cocky piece of shit. He doesn't know shit.
  
• Management didn't know why they hired him, but there he was. I knew something is off, and I am more certain to exit anytime. (I was still there because.. it's pandemic, guys. I need that money for skill upgrades so I can leave easily)
• We were tasked to handle some new projects, and I took a new approach again. I was trying to show off, secondly, to actually teach rigging to the team. None of them knows how to build a rig, if I can be so honest. But it didn't work, it was a major failure, everyone wasn't in the same page. 
• So this guy, went behind my back, or maybe, being approached from behind, talked about how he can rebuild the rig faster and easier. Management love the words "Faster" and "Easier". They bought his idea, we went with that idea, I wasn't really stoke or happy about it because they wasn't aware of the limitation. But, oh well. 

So what did I learn from this?

• Not much, me being neglected is normal because I am not syncing well with the business plan. I also got shot by animators for numerous unapologetic reasons. Yes, I am not quite sorry for that. They wanted something, but they couldn't break the chain and try something new. To use the same exact system, but expecting different result, is insanity.
• Rigging has many levels, and to be fair, I think the very basic fundamentals are:
  
  •  Anatomy. You gotta know where the muscles hits. (I'm still pretty weak at this, I know)
  • Joints and Rigging Tools. I mean... if you don't understand how to use tools to move things. How can you call yourself a rigger?
  • Have your own UI and systems. Personalised work desk always works better than generic cubical space.
   
• That son of a bitch is a real cocky bitch ass motherfucker. Will not and would not work with him again. I still remember vividly that he curb his hands every time I was briefing something important.
  Not many people know this, but he failed to deliver many tasks I have given, and yet I have to cover his ass. But then again, I was the lead. So... om nom nom the bombs. 
• But now that I think about it, actually, we did actually can make something better out of the box. But then again, I wasn't really happy. I mean, I was very unhappy in that environment back then. I was ready to exit, and I didn't give a fuck. I am that bad-ass, also childish. I know.

Is that all? No, things are spiraling downwards starting from October 2020! Awesome time (/s)

• Many people left. Like.. key people. A lead animator. 2 protege, which is a producer and a project manager. A young animator protege. Another animator (that one I'd love to bang but not anymore). Me. A newly hired compositor (I think he was there for less than a year). A lead modeler. About 8 people? Oh wait, no, 9, there's another storyboard artist left too.
  
• But they also hired quite a few people to increase productivity.
• Shortly after my departure, the admin left too. See? Downwards.
• Boss became unhappy.
• Changes happening in company. Particularly the newly formed leadership team. I was initially being appointed to be in it, but I got kicked out. It wasn't surprising at all. Still a bummer tho. 
• Team spirits seems low, there were not much jobs or tasks, we were given shitty tasks, treated like a cheap guerilla or mercenaries. 
• Then I also heard some gossips. Lol. 

Then what have I learnt from this event, up until my departure?

• Many people were already in discomfort and unsatisfactory states. It was quite inevitable because.. not many got their increments, everyone was treated very differently. There were a lot of favoritism. I didn't know. I didn't really care until someone told me. 
• Almost to my final days in this studio, I literally care lesser and lesser about things in studio, and I just.. wanted to be good at my own craft. I found out that our boss was a giant dick and hypocrite, everyone's a hypocrites, and I was a huge dick. It was a very good reflective moment to align myself back to the life I preferred.
  

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So that is it. 

It was a bittersweet journey. I made some friends, made more enemies.
 

I hated the guy Vincent, still hates him. Overrated piece of shit. But I wish him well, nonetheless. He's now in Anima Point, maybe he's gonna shine brighter there. But I wouldn't work with him anymore. Left a bad taste in my mouth.
 

Loved the girl Jane, she's very kind. But our relationship is very shallow. We don't even talk anymore. That's too bad. But she's a nice person, in general. Cute too. Would work with her again.

Joseph was alright. He's a very ironic hypocrites. Seems like a person full of integrity because religious, but not so much actually. He's nice at times, but worse for most. Meh, would or would not work, don't matter.

Bryian was alright. I didn't like him too much. He double-faced way too many times. I lost counts. I hope he's doing well too. Ehhh.. would not work.

Flynn was alright. I feel bad for putting her into certain uncomfortable positions. Would love to apologize, but also.. maybe not work with her again.

WangTung was alright. I like his attitude of getting things done, but he can be extremely calculative at times. He hates going extra miles for better future, but he'd do extra miles just to get things in front of him done. Not work again.

Nicole sucks. She complains all the time. Tons of negativity. I am extremely regret for trying to initiate office romance with her. Skills wise, not too sure. But I have heard not-so-good things often about her. She really complains A LOT. Definitely not work with her again. Not even being friends.

Andy was alright. No comment about this guy. He sometimes has some anger issues. Meh, would or would not work, don't matter.

Fikri was alright. We didn't have much interaction. Work? work.

YenYee was.. I didn't like her at all. It was really hard to just talk to her. Ever since she accused me for being extremely perverted, it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. Hate shit stirring piece of shit like these. Would not work. 

Anson, Felix, YinJia. Animators. Meh. They're alright. Would or would not work, don't really matter.

Hugo. No. Great animator tho. He's alright actually. But I would choose not to work with him. Maybe because he's from an extremely loaded family. I wasn't too happy about it. 

Alan was alright. I think he's great. He's probably one of the MVPs in Spacesheep studio. Diligent, determined, generally a nice person. Would definitely work again. 

Johnny was alright. He's alright. Would or would not, don't matter. 

YongShing was alright. He's quite diligent, hard-working, a very anime person. Would work with him again :D

YongSheng was ok. He doesn't seem to like working with me. That goes for me too. Would not work with him again. He's in my team, by the way. I have seen his performance, I have seen his attitude. Generally, it wasn't great.

YouXuan sucks. No.

ZhenSong is great. He's very hardworking too. Get things done. Would work again.

Cody was alright. Don't matter if we ever work again or not. He's on the Schoolism side. 

Catherine? Best admin. 100% would work with her again. :D

The boss? No. Would not work with him again. There were moments he gaslighted me and generally, it was a rather unpleasant experience with him. He sells a $10 product for $10.50, but asked for $100 value. 

I loved and hated my life in Spacesheep Studio.

• it helped me finally focus on a career that I want to improve on.
• I never get to enjoy the presence of others. I think no one really likes me in that office, and it just makes every moment generally a tad bit more unbearable. 
• Spoilers: YouXuan, HongGuan, Flynn, WangTung, Hugo (+ Jane) are very close friends. Later on Bryian 'penetrated' into the group too. One thing that I really hate about this, is that.. it creates gang internally, even in a 20+ people small sized studio. 
• I wasn't belong to any gang at all. I was sad. lol. Sad potato. Sad old potato.
• There were no moments where we all share the joy of each other's presence, other than company trip. That company trip is also more like something they did just to check the check list.
• Personally, I really hated the Hugo + Jane combination. It emits a very condescending aura. It's like "we only friends with rich people, ciao".
• loved the fact that I can read.
• Also being in a team like that, and being aggressively looking for guidance elsewhere on the internet, it gives me great perspective about my work, my career, and the kind of environment that I want to be in. I am glad, I am now in a good place. 
• If Spacesheep didn't happen, none of these will happen. For that, I am extremely grateful.

So there you go. A post-mortem about my career life in Spacesheep. I wanted to do this because I have read the book <Creativity Inc.> by  Ed Catmull, it inspires me a lot.
One of the topic mentioned in the book, is having a post-mortem with the team every single time a project is finished. It is very important for everyone to move on and not cling to the past. Everyone deserves a second chance, everyone deserves a better tomorrow.

Well then, so long, folks!